On some/most of the days that I have to run for my 8K training, I don’t want to run. I really don’t want to run. My mood tends to plummet right as we’re walking into the apartment… okay, really, as we’re walking from the car to the apartment… okay, honestly as Jazz picks me up from the Metro. Or, sometimes, before then. The closer I get to running, the grumpier I become. Then I put off getting changed into my workout gear until Jazz says something funny, and I laugh, and then really, who can be grumpy then? (Seriously, this is why I married the guy.)
Sometimes. Sometimes I’m ready to go, and sometimes I am not feeling excited about it but I don’t mind it.
I stick with running partially because I can and partially because I like getting free t-shirts at events. Also, part of it is that I think it brings my family closer together, and we need all the help we can get.
I think my biggest impediment to running longer and faster now is my weight. I weigh more than Oprah (oh the horrors!) and I’m only 5 foot 3. I feel every one of my pounds when I’m running, and I know it slows me down and makes me tire quicker than Jazz. Running will not help me lose weight, at least not at the pace or distance I run right now. I’ve been eating better and losing weight s-l-o-w-l-y, and it’s helped my stamina so far.
I get frustrated because I just want to be able to run without needing to stop every half mile to mile. Part of that is a lack of training, but part of that is trying to move an 18-wheeler with a V4 engine. I need to be patient. I’ll get there when I get there, and not a minute sooner.
So I try to keep this in mind during those times that training seems a waste. It’s okay to not want to run. It’s okay to not want to work out. It’s okay (here’s looking at you, Oprah) to weigh over 200 pounds. What’s not okay, what will never be okay, is to let nonsense get in the way of your goals…no matter what your goals are. People do crazy, wonderful, inspirational things all the time. Surely my goal of 5 miles isn’t impossible.
Krystal White said,
January 14, 2009 @ 10:00 pm
Making new habits feels impossible during the first three weeks, during which our goals get sabatoged by rationalizations about giving them up. I LOVE goals (like my list) because they are so concrete. You make them, or you don’t. But more important than goals is the vision you have of the Kate that you want to become. For me, I vision myself as more connected in the next year…what does running 5 miles mean ABOUT you?